eSinner.com: An Interview With Dr. Neil Clark Warren, Founder of eHarmny.com

For five years, Dr. Neil Clark Warren has helped thousands of couples find true happiness through his dating website eHarmony.com. But helping Christians find soul mates just wasn’t enough for Dr. Warren.

Dr. Warren, tell us about your new project.
It’s called eSinner.com. It’s a new matching project, only this time I’m not trying to help Christians find soul mates. I’m trying to help them find sinners.

Why sinners?
Well, not long ago I was having dinner with Larry and Terri, one of the many, many couple friends of mine who were successfully paired through my website. They told me that they sometimes felt guilty because they didn’t have a single sinner friend to work on converting.

That’s horrible.
It gets worse. I began asking other friends, and quickly learned that this wasn’t an isolated condition. Christian’s from all over the country were telling me that it just wasn’t easy finding good sinner friends anymore.

Fascinating. So tell us how eSinner.com works.
I’m so glad you asked. Using my patented Seven Dimensions of Compatibility, Christians are paired with sinners based on interest, location, gender, skills, habits, bowel movements, and favorite color.

Well I guess the question on everyone’s mind is does it work?
You betcha! The praise has been flooding into our offices! Take Michael Warcowsky from, Anaheim, California, for instance. He writes, “Dr. Warren, your website has changed my life! Thanks to eSinner.com, I have been paired with a new sinner friend! We’re great together. And you should see the way my other Christian friends look at him! There’s envy in their eyes—they want a sinner too! I’m telling all my friends that eSinner.com works! It really does!

It sounds like you’re really changing lives.
Am I ever! And Michael from Anaheim was not the only one to send us a letter. There’s more!

More?
Absolutely! Take Sarah Reinhart from Colorado Springs, Colorado. She writes, “Dr. Warren, my husband and I were suspicious when we heard about your website. We had been looking for a sinner friend for years, but they just never came to our church, and when they did all the popular couples always got them before us. Thanks to eSinner, we now have a sinner to call our own. Thanks eSinner.com!”

Sarah sounds like a lucky gal! Are there more?
So many more that my voice would give out before I could finish reading all of them.

Tell me, why do you think it’s so hard for Christian to meet sinners without your inexpensive and proven methods?
That’s a fine question—let me answer you by telling you about Richard. Richard is a friend of mine who, after reading one of my many books, went on eHarmony.com, and met two of his wives. He’s been happily married twice now through the eHarmony.com method. Now Richard is like many Christians: white, successful, handsome, witty, and sometimes drives his car a little fast. The trouble Richard always had was sinners never showed up to the places he went. That’s where eSinner.com comes to the rescue. We find the sinners so you don’t have to.

How do you find these sinners?
It’s a complex method involving Christians in suits that have received college degrees from the finest online colleges around the world.

Can you tell us more about these Christians in suits?
Certainly. These highly educated men go to bars, hockey games, strip clubs, prisons, and dumpsters to talk to worthless sinners willing to be matched with a Christian in exchange for money, which they in turn use to buy liquor, drugs, and prostitutes.

It sounds like a pretty shameless group of sinners.
They are. But they’re more willing to be part of eSinner.com because of how desperate they are.

So tell us what happens when a Christian is paired with a sinner?
Safety is very important at eSinner.com. That’s why we don’t allow Christians to meet their sinner until they have talk several times through email.

Then what happens?
After exchanging photos, names, and friendly discourse, we arrange for the Christian and sinner to go out on a play date.

And if the play date doesn’t work?
Oh, they always do. If the sinners aren’t on their best behavior they don’t get paid.

Sounds like you’ve thought of everything. But tell me, isn’t it true that many sinners cannot read or write? How can the sinners send emails?
That is true. That’s why are highly trained, educated staff writes the emails for the sinner.

You mean the sinner just dictates what they want to be said?
Heavens, no! I can’t imagine what the emails would look like if we let the sinners dictate what they want the email to say. No, what happens is we have a series of template letters on hand, and we randomly send them to the Christians only changing the name of the sinner at the end of the letter.

Wow! It’s no wonder why eSinner.com is changing lives. It was great talking to you Dr. Warren.
It was great talking to you. And remember at eSinner.com we have more sinners per match then any online service. Oh, and also remember to buy my books.